The Great Female Balancing Act

Passion

OK so this took a bit of editing and playing around with as my thoughts jumbled around the place to get to where I want to be with this article without being too woo-woo.

Someone asked me the other day, what was it that I was passionate about in my Health Coaching. I didn’t have to think about it for long….

I have a strong passion for all the gorgeous females in their late 30’s to 40’s and helping them to take some time out, helping them to find their beautiful healthy and vibrant selves again.

I get really sad when I look around at the females in my life, well just at females in general really, of all ages. Overall I see a bunch of tired, weary people who are struggling to keep up with the day to day activities that are going on around them. Who are struggling to hold it all together. Oh and if they seem to be holding it all together, they have lost that feminine beauty, softness, calmness about them and push them just a little bit then I think we would find that most of them are simply struggling. And I know this, because I have been there - and of course I am still learning and working my way through it all as well.

When I delve into the question of how did we get there? A little familiar story starts to unravel.

We are told in our teens that we can be and do anything that we want, my girls are taught this at school, they are even highly encouraged into traditionally non female careers.. So we strive BIG, we strive to be the most amazing person we can be. We know that we are capable of anything that we set our minds to. We achieve big in our careers, we achieve big in the sporting world. We achieve big anywhere really, there is nothing to hold us back. We can choose to have a family or not. We can choose to be single or not. The world is our oyster and we can be whatever we want to be………. Now that is great right!!!???

All the doing, striving, pushing, fighting that it takes to get to the top of your game is generally masculine energies. And for us to achieve all that we want to achieve in life (because that is what we have been taught - that we can be and do and have anything we want) we tend to drop some of our divine feminine energies.

As Melissa Ambrosini so eloquently puts it

“Divine feminine energy is energy that stems from a place of receiving, softness, being, allowing, listening, absorbing and nurturing. She embodies full acceptance of all, which means no longer trying to fix, change or improve others or one’s self. She is relaxed yet resilient, sensitive yet strong, gentle yet firm, loving and compassionate, and knows how to hold her boundaries”.

So if you think about the years of doing, being, achieving and pushing, you can see that there is not always room for the divine feminine - she just gets pushed to the back burner a little bit (or a lot!).

Now this is not about female vs male - this is just energies that are found in all of us. Do males have female energies as well - you bet ya and do females have masculine energies as well - we sure do…

This is just about looking at these energies and realising that as a female we have often moved more over to our masculine side and have let go of all the wonderful qualities that are found in our divine feminine and that there are lots of males who are a bit confused now as well - We want them to be understanding and we want them to listen and we get pissed off when they get angry, fire up and offer solutions to everything we ask (natural, normal masculine energies). Don’t get me wrong on this - men are in a place of confusion as well (but this is not what I want today’s focus to be).

I totally get that as females we live in a super privileged time, we can choose to be anything that we want to be and really although we are still paving the way for more female rights we are past the real struggle of being accepted as equal (well in some cultures anyway).

But at what cost?

At what cost have we become equal. What have we lost and dropped along the way to get there. We have lost the divine and natural female energy that makes us so special. We have become equal by becoming more masculine!!! And believe me this effects not only us but also our gorgeous males out there as well. The balance has been lost…

OK getting right back to my little story of life… We have just built this amazing career, we are pushing, striving and doing everything we can to be the top of our game….

Then what happens… We decide it is time to have a family (for those who choose it or who are lucky enough to be able to have a family)

Cool right….

So now we can still be this amazing person right… We can still have the career, raise our family and do everything around the house…. What the heck???? Who sold us on this idea???

Whoever thought that this was the plan of the feminists who paved the way and made it possible for females to have the vote and to be able to work and have careers……. Don’t get me wrong I think that this is a 1st world problem but I think we still have a very long way to go.

Long gone are the days where a female’s job is to solely take care of the kids, the house and keep everyone happy!!!! We are now doing all of that as well as holding down a career - oh and don’t forget being the entertainer to all that wants to come over and even being the sexual goddess for your husband…. Whoa, that just makes me want to have a cuppa and put my feet up thinking about it. Oh but don’t forget if you “just” want to be a Mum or if you even think about putting your feet up to grab a cuppa you are riddled with GUILT or feelings of not being enough for doing so!!!!

So after all of this privilege and this amazing career path for our females of today, when I look around all I see is a group of haggard, tired, worn out Mum’s who are about to collapse with exhaustion because in being everything to everyone else, we have had no time to ourselves, no time to stop and smell the roses, no time to actually look after our own needs….

So in our quest to have it all, we have become tired, sick and on the brink of complete collapse. Sound familiar to anyone? It sure does to me!

What if there was a different way?

What is we taught our gorgeous teens and young adults that there was a different way to feel fulfilled, to achieve our dreams and to be happy and filled with vibrant energy? What if as a female in her 40’s you were taught the gift of perimenopause as a time to let go of the baggage you had accumulated along the way and come into your years of wisdom, to be strong and vibrant and able to share all you have learnt along the way.

What if……

• What if we could figure out how to balance the beauty of being feminine, embrace who we are and help our gorgeous children to do the same so they don’t end up like we are in their 40’s.

• What if we were taught about our cycle, what happens to the hormones in our body during the month and how we could harness this to get the most out of each day during the different times of our cycle? What if we were taught that each time we got our period it was a chance to let go of anything that didn’t serve us, to let go of anything that we didn’t want to take forward with us!

• What if we were taught that part of being a women is about procreation and that having a family is the most important and most beautiful thing that we can do. To raise amazing kids who feel loved and balanced, strong and sure of who they are is one of the most amazing gifts we could give to the world? What if that was just something that was part of who we were?

• What if we were taught to embrace the different stages in life, stages for partying, achieving, going hard, stages for having the family and creating a home, stages for moving forward and sharing our wisdom. What if we were taught to embrace each stage at the time rather than always wanting something different.

• What if we were taught that the female energy when embraced is the most caring, most healing and most amazing gift and that our world needs more healing energy. Mother nature is sure in accordance with this right now.

• What if we were taught to harness our masculine and feminine energies to help us to achieve what we wanted- like calling on our masculine side when we are about to go up in front of a big board meeting or when we are needing to find answers and push on to get something finished - and to call on our feminine energies when we needed to care and help others.

• What if we were taught that masculine and feminine energies both have their place (in both females and males) and that accepting this we can work so amazingly well as females and males together and not fight it all the time.. The harmony we could have if we accepted these energies in each other.

• What is we were taught that our female energies were a blessing, that we can work, communicate, achieve whatever it is that we want from a place of loving and compassion, softness and kindness.

What if……

Well these are some of the things that I hope to be able to teach while being a health coach. To help our beautiful teens and young adults to not fall into some of the same traps that we have, and to help my gorgeous females in the same era as me to realise that there is another way and that we can embrace our female energies and we can be proud of who we are. Deep down we all know what we need to do to nourish and care for ourselves, we are so used to doing it for everyone else. Now is the time for us to STOP and to do the work so that we can shine our beautiful lights on the rest of the world because she sure needs it at the moment.

I know this might sound all a bit woo-woo to start with and believe me, it feels that way for me sometimes when I dig deep but the actual path to get there doesn’t have to be like that at all.

By learning the wisdom of healing nutrition, exercise that heals rather than depletes, learning ways to reduce stress and anxiety, to remove toxins from our gorgeous bodies, to learn that it is OK to rest and to find ways to rejuvenate our souls, to get rid of toxin emotions, to supplement where it is needed and to have a mindset that is going to help us to do this we will be pretty much there. And none of that is too woo-woo.

Whoa that was a bit of a mouthful, I guess the next person who asks me about my passion is going to run a mile!!! HAHAH!!!

With love, gratitude, blessings and a whole pile of female compassion.

Mel